For Daniel
28 October 2008
From the executive director’s hand gestures, I gathered that Daniel had been blindsided when another motorbike cut across an intersection. Daniel was one of DINARI Foundation’s loan officers, but he was also in charge of a pilot project teaching loan clients how to use stoves fueled by coconut oil. He had been training DINARI’s staff in western Bali and was riding his motorbike home when the other driver hit him and fled the scene.
Daniel and his Motorbike
I met Daniel when I first arrived at DINARI, a Christian foundation in Bali with a large microfinance component. Our introduction lasted just a moment, but I remember his wide, kind smile, accentuated by narrow eyes.
A few days later, he asked me in halting English if I liked sports.
“I like basketball,” he said. And soccer, table tennis, and Frisbee. I imagined he was a good athlete. Short, slim and well proportioned, he moved with a graceful economy and purpose. In a different setting, I could picture him as a Himalayan Sherpa, or maybe a carpenter.
During my first week, he gave me a ride to work on his motorbike, whipping around the turns as I tried to hang on both nonchalantly and firmly. He liked to practice his English and taught me a few Bahasa Indonesia words in return. He had a worn maroon pocket translator that he kept in the front compartment of his backpack.
One evening, he called back over his shoulder to me to explain a Hindu ceremony.
“Full moon. Today people pray.” He carefully enunciated the Indonesian translation, which I promptly forgot. The moon made the winding road sheen, and the night air washed the day’s thick heat from my arms and neck.
Daniel and Panca
After work, he and another loan officer would have a cup of coffee and cigarette with Ferdinand, DINARI’s liaison to Kiva. I accepted the invitation to join them. Daniel first washed his motorbike and then joined the rest of us on the small patio of Ferdinand’s boarding house. I was questioned about America, Arnold Schwarzenegger, my family and the population of Boston. I tried to divert the conversation away from me, asking Daniel where he grew up.
“Daniel a Javanese man,” Ferdinand said as he scowled playfully. I learned that Daniel had arrived in Bali in January.
“Why did you move here?”
Daniel grinned, and the others erupted in the laughter of insiders.
“He comes for Balinese girl,” Ferdinand explained. “He knew a girl in Java, from college. He followed her here. He lost her.”
I was lost.
“He couldn’t find her on the island!”
“You didn’t have her number?”
Daniel smiled again. Apparently not.
“Are you still looking for her?” I asked.
“She is just a memory,” Daniel said.
It was my turn to smile. “I think we all have those.”
Daniel came to DINARI’s morning devotional service two days after his crash. He wore sandals and shuffled with a considerable limp. On his right hand, there were small bandages on two of his fingers. When people were asked for thoughts on the day’s bible lesson, Ferdinand spoke about the importance of giving thanks even when bad things happen.
My mind couldn’t process this, even though I had come to understand the transformative effects of suffering in my own life, how it heightened my self-awareness and steered me to purposeful actions. But I couldn’t accept a hit-and-run, not when I could see how gingerly and tightly Daniel held himself as he sat.
Ferdinand then asked that we pray for Daniel, since he was still sick. This made the other staff laugh nervously, and Daniel didn’t so much blush as he did bronze. And then he smiled again.
Shot from my patio
The video clip from the previous post was filmed at the memorial commemorating the 2002 bombings. As always, I am grateful for your comments. Kiva has asked me and the other Kiva Fellows to keep our blog entries relevant to microfinance, and I would like to try to honor that request for future entries. So please let me know if there is anything within the realm of microfinance that you would be interested to read about. I would also like to encourage you to check out new loans from the DINARI Foundation: http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&partner_id=82&status=fundRaising&sortBy=New+to+Old&_tpg=fb
28 October 2008 at 8:39 am
Actually, I was thinking of how interesting the personal recollections are. I hope they aren’t too strict about people keeping their posts to microfinance. To me the blog is much better as an open and truthful description of the experiences of kiva fellows in the field. It gives me the deep down understanding that we’re all in this together, that all these countries with their vastly different social fabrics are nevertheless interconnected. If it becomes a recitation of the party line, it will be useless.
I certainly hope the personal isn’t leached out of the kiva experience little by little over time. I think it would be a terrible mistake. The reason it works at all is because it’s personal.
28 October 2008 at 3:33 pm
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us and please pass along our wishes for health and happiness to Daniel after his ordeal.
I enjoy reading the blogs because you Fellows are able to take us into another culture and make lending a true person to person experience. All the facts can be found on the MFI websites but the feelings and interactions of the people on the ground are what matter to me.
Little things, like Daniel washing his motorbike. I am thinking now I should probably go wash my car because Daniel’s bike is probably looked after better than my car. And about praying during a full moon. I will think of Indonesia next month when our moon is full.
I love Kiva because it is a person to person lending site. I think the culture you are immersed in and your personal feelings and experiences are what the whole thing is about. Please continue to share those with us here at home.
30 October 2008 at 1:25 am
Dear Tatiana, Jan, and John,
Thank you for your thoughts. While I cannot speak on Kiva’s behalf, I do not think that the organization is trying to curtail the Kiva Fellows’ personal thoughts or experiences. We were asked, however, to “orient” our blogs toward Kiva and microfinance. If you feel that the blogs become too impersonal, I would encourage you to contact Kiva with your concerns. Speaking about my own blog, I get most excited about human relationships and connections and will continue to try and write about the people I meet and how they shape me.
10 November 2008 at 4:27 am
My thoughts are with Daniel, Lando. I love that you’re getting to become so close to people like him.