“Ok. Next question…”
17 November 2009 at 19:59 marydear 20 comments
Laughing with Myrna Data, a Kiva Borrower
Mary Riedel, KF9, Philippines
“…What do you think your biggest challenge will be if you become a Kiva Fellow?”
I heard this question twice during my interview process with Kiva. On both occasions I was sitting at my kitchen table in San Francisco, working from home (experiencing some cabin fever), and planing to meet up with friends later in the day. My answer was, “Feeling disconnected from friends and family.” And yes, some days staying connected has been a bit of challenge, looking at the clock wishing it was telling me a different story, jumping to Skype and hoping to to see little green dots. For the most part though, communication has been good, it just takes more planning and acceptance.
So that’s not my biggest challenge…
Last week I had the pleasure of meeting Myrna Datu a woman with a warm smile and a boisterous laugh. She was the first person I noticed when we got to Parog Parog barangay (village) in Solana, Cagayan. She was standing in a group of women holding a sign that said “Welcome Kiva Fellows Adam and Mary”. Myrna had a lot of energy, was wearing a bright orange shirt and a canvas hat (I love hats).
A Very Warm Welcome - Myrna Datu, left of sign
Myrna is the mother of girls (one in high school and one in college), she was widowed 7 years ago, which means she does all of male and female duties in the household by herself . Myrna raises pigs, buys and sells vegetables, makes and sells small snacks, and works in the field growing rice (she walks a Karibou – Filipino Buffalo – to plow the fields because she’s afraid of riding him.
Karibou (Filipino Buffalo)
A little while later after many group photos…. it was Myrna’s turn to be interviewed. She sat down and looked away (she was really nervous) she started laughing…and then her expression changed – tears, a quivering face, but still a smile… “oh, no!” I thought… “she’s crying,..like, a lot..but smiling, what’s going on…” Could it be…really?… “tears of joy”.
Sitting in small a room full of about 20 women, the Documentation Officer from ASKI (a Kiva Microfinance Partner) asked, “Myrna why are you crying?”
You HAVE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO (the first 30 seconds at least) and hear Myrna…her voice and spirit are far more touching then I could ever put into words…Which is why I am humbling myself and posting this – despite the fact that my “journal interview” sort of turned into an Oprah episode and some of my comments sound pretty ho-key. I’m learning less is more when the camera is rolling. (My ego really wants me to spend a ton of time editing this on imovie to get my voice out of there, but to be honest it would take me far tooooo long and have a ton of journals to post).
As you can see keeping a boundary and acting as an objective reporter/fellow might be pretty challenging. It’s proving to be the most challenging aspect of being a Kiva Fellow…. Here’s what you don’t see in the video… While I was sitting with Myrna, as she lovingly touched my hand over and over, crying and telling me her story– all of me wanted to jump up, hug this woman, and say, “You ROCK! You are doing an awesome job! Everything is going to be OK.” I wanted to thank her for sharing her story with me and tell her how touched and honored I was. Then my mind got going… “Myrna works so hard. I hope she has some joy in her life….maybe I could take her to a movie, get her a facial.” Then my mind really got going, “What about a different job, a vacation, a husband…. I wonder how widows find dates here? Do widows date here – maybe in Manila? I’ll talk to Prem (the Kiva Fellow there), Do they use e-harmony here. Hmmm, this is sounding a little crazy…. but I bet she’d like the special soap I use, maybe I’ll bring a little next time… I wonder what she wants for Christmas.”
So as you can see, from the inner chatter I actually held back in the video, but it was really uncomfortable, I was having a hard time finding the line…the boundary. Knowing how to respond to this intense display of human emotion?…This definitely would not have happened at Wells Fargo in California. Was I supposed to stay stoic like a real reporter, no feedback…nothing?
We left the barangay, time passed, my mind settled, I wrote a journal, and then another, because that is how I help. That is how I help everyone not just Myrna, by working towards Kiva Mission – connecting people through lending in order to alleviate poverty. There are many people like Myrna Datu out there.
All things considered I did a pretty good job (minus a few dorky sentences) but as I said, I’m learning. I’m getting more comfortable with silence and letting people have “their feelings” and experiences (independent of me) without interrupting the process…because it is a beautiful one.
Entry filed under: Alalay sa Kaunlaran, Inc. (ASKI), blogsherpa, KF9 (Kiva Fellows 9th Class), Philippines. Tags: Kiva borrowers, microfinance, Philippines.
1. Monica F. | 14 December 2009 at 22:42
Mary–Thank you for sharing this and for sharing your honesty. I was taking so long to respond so as to let you have your emotions!
Myrna reaching out for your hand was my favorite part. I know that human touch is quite powerful. Sometimes my students or even my kiddos are just having a bad moment and I find a hug is a perfect anecdote. I understand about getting comfortable with silence. A friend I used to work with told me “Silence is healing”. I try that when driving every so often, I turn off the radio and phone and just let that quietness seep in my thoughts. Another quote I love …”Sometimes saying nothing says the most.” Hugs to you and thanks for your hard work and dedication.
2. moorejohna | 24 November 2009 at 17:38
Hi Mary,
I’ve been checking out the blogs of a few Kiva Fellows in the Philippines. Good stuff! I work in Manila for a U.S.-based NGO that is considering distributing a clean burning cook stove in the Philippines.
I would like to get in touch with you to learn more about your experience on the ground in Philippines with microfinance clients. I am especially interested in hearing if you think the benefits of the stove (significantly lower fuel consumption and emissions) are relevant issues for the people you have been meeting.
I believe you will be able to see my email address, but if not, please reply to this post and hopefully we can find another way to get in touch.
salamat,
john
3. Wolfgang | 22 November 2009 at 16:47
Thank you, Mary, for posting this – what a great post and powerful video.
Best wishes,
Wolfgang.
4. Denise Caruso | 22 November 2009 at 16:24
Mary, this is just phenomenal. Thank you so much. I’m beyond thrilled that you have found such a perfect place to put your great energy into service.
5. Nicki, KF9 | 20 November 2009 at 23:37
Great post Mary and so good to see the video (though i’m only half way through it as my internet connection is pretty slow…)
Hope you’re enjoying your placement, take care xx
6. Rebecca Corey | 19 November 2009 at 22:30
This is so beautiful, Mary. Thank you for sharing! Seeing Myrna almost made me cry!
7. Hana Lee | 19 November 2009 at 07:49
Mary! YOU are amazing! It’s so wonderful to read your blog post and to actually here your voice in my head as I read along.
Seriously girl, that last paragraph sent shivers down my spine…getting comfortable with that silence, letting other people have their feelings–a beautiful thing. Keep up the good work! You are truly an inspiration to me. Hugs and kisses from chilly San Francisco.
XO Hana
8. Kimia | 19 November 2009 at 07:18
I agree with Suzy!! I absolutely love this post because I can relate to your thought process and its refreshing to see them written down!
9. Mary Riedel | 18 November 2009 at 17:57
I am so grateful for everyone’ comments – thank you for taking the time to read my post!!!!! Miss u alll
10. Jan & John, KivaFriends | 18 November 2009 at 16:16
Thank you so very, very much, and don’t bother to edit that video. Some folks will say they don’t pick their loans by looking at the photos. I do. I choose photos that show a person who is standing with pride and determination to make a better life for themselves and their family. That’s the person I want to help. jan
11. Emily (Millie) D. | 18 November 2009 at 15:46
That was so powerful. I’m so glad that Myrna has you. We can all learn something from her!
xoxo
SMOOCHES
Millie
12. Emily | 18 November 2009 at 09:35
i love this! thank you so much for sharing! you have a great big heart. it is so inspiring to see myrna AND you; strong, loving, thriving women! xo
13. Kathrin Jansen | 18 November 2009 at 08:50
Mary, thanks for sharing all your thoughts and experiences with us! I had tears in my eyes, too!
(And I am jealous of you! I want to be a fellow, too. Where is the application form?)
Love,
Kathrin
14. Alison Marks | 18 November 2009 at 07:16
Mary – WOW! YOU rock! Thanks for the email telling me to look at this. So happy you found something so meaningful and useful in the world to do. Can’t wait to hear more!
Love,
Alison
15. castanier | 18 November 2009 at 06:18
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dans l attente de vous lire vous souhaite 1 bonne journee
16. castanier | 18 November 2009 at 06:16
projet de creation restaurant cuisine francaise mioveni roumanie
j ais investie 50000euros il me manque 15000 euros pour realiser mon reves je cherche organisme pouvant m aider etant au chomage ainsi que mon mari cherche personne pouvant me preter 1 peut d argent pour demarer rapidement pouvant vous donner plus de renseignement a votre demande
dans l attente de vous lire vous souhaite 1 bonne journee
17. Lindsey Gant Certo | 18 November 2009 at 05:48
Mary- I love it!
Linz
18. Suzy Marinkovich | 18 November 2009 at 04:21
omg, i LOVEEEEEE THIS POST MARY!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to share it with everyone I know. and their mom. I love hearing your inner thought processes…mostly because they sound like mine which makes me feel better. haha! fantastic video, no editing necessary. thank you so much for posting this!
19. Prem Thomas | 18 November 2009 at 02:08
Hahah nice post, but how did i become the authority on filipino dating?
20. robpacker | 18 November 2009 at 02:07
“Do widows date here – maybe in Manila? I’ll talk to Prem (the Kiva Fellow there)”
Wow! Mary, you’re starting your own Philippines dating service?